My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just cropdusted the office
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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