You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
