He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
