Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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