okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just had sex on a roof
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
