you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
