i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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