did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
