my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
