i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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