I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
