sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Boobs speak an international language.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
