she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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