So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
