I must be too annoying 4 u.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
