i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
