I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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