there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
