i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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