i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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