so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
