So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
