Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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