I'm really into asian looking animals
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
