his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
