He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
