no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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