YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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