ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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