pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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