I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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