Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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