I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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