Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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