I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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