She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
