At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
