Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
