oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
