dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
wow bdsm is so cute
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