Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
