im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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