Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
