I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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