I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's shark week go big or go home
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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