just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
