Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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