I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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