Welp...herpes.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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