so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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