i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
