The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize