you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
