awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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