We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I need help removing her.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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