i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
