do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
