ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
