Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I cut my penus on the lid.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
