Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
pop tarts are not kleenex
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
