My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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