i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
