i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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