she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
