is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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