ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize