You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
