bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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